Gazelle by Bello Gloria

Author:Bello, Gloria [Bello, Gloria]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2015-05-24T07:00:00+00:00

“Hi, Nathan. How’s it going?”

“Good. Good, really good. I’m calling to check in with you. Are you ready?”

“I’m getting there. Are you?”

“I couldn’t be more fucking excited, friend. We still on for breakfast tomorrow? We can go over last minute script shit then.”

“Yeah, yes. Definitely. I’m uh, I’m feeling pretty positive about the talk we had. It’s really helped out.”

There is a brief pause. Julian winces, feeling as if Nathan has and always will see through him. “That’s good. I’m glad. I know this has been a real challenge for you, man. I want you to know that when it comes down to it, I trust you. This-this film means everything to me. And I know it means everything to you, too. You’ve been working right alongside me…it’s both of us, okay? Remember that. I trust you with it, you hear me?”

“I know. Thank you, man.”

“No problem, no problem. Get some proper rest and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“You, too. Bye.”

He breathes slowly, steadily, staring hard at his reflection, his eyes locked, blazing. Nathan wasn’t buying it anymore. He could see right through him, he knew he was a fraud. There’s nothing behind those pretty eyes except one or two expressions you copied from someone truly talented, he thinks. You’re nothing but a toy chameleon, just about out of batteries. He exhales and focuses on the connection, latching onto the character, infecting himself with it, losing himself, detaching, re-attaching, reaching in and stopping just short in terror, but struggling onwards, relying on those mastered expressions like a splintering crutch.

“ ‘I waited.’ Fuck… ‘I didwait. I waited long after the debris cleared and everyone went home to their nice, cozy little lies and forgot it ever happened, and made me dress up and play with the other kids. I waited in hell with a fucking smile plastered to my face, eating shit because you promised you would come back. Nobody did, though…you didn’t come back. You lied to me. You looked me in the fucking faceand you lied….tell me, tell me now, how you do that to your own kid? Your own blood?’”

He drops his head, shaking, wincing, squeezinghis fists into balls. “Fuck me…fucking shit script…” he whispers, fighting his tears of frustration.

CeCetaps lightly on the door. “Julian…”

“Come back later!”

“Julian, your brother’s on the phone.”

Julian grabs the towel and wipes his face, wipes away the traces of struggle, and swings open the bathroom door. He glares at CeCe and yanks the phone from her. She says nothing, disappearing back down the hall. He listens until he can no longer hear her heels before putting the phone to his ear. He forces all his fear and frustration, his panic down behind the biggest wall he can muster, rubbing his temple violently as he struggles to control his voice and sound completely at ease.

“James.”

“Julian. How’re you doing?”

“Good, you?”

“Excellent.”

“Great. Are you guys set then? You coming to visit? The party’s next Saturday.”

“It looks good. Your assistant confirmed all of the hotel arrangements yesterday. Mom says she can’t wait.

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